Monday, October 4, 2010

I'LL KILL EVERYONE... jk, I won't kill myself lol

I'll climb the hill in my own way. Just wait a while for the right day.
...and as I rise above the tree line and the clouds - I look down, hearing the sound of the things you said today.

Just thought I'd share this wonderful piece with you.
It might be slow and even boring for some people, but it really makes me think and gives me the feeling of power.
A lot of things can be done with the power of will. You just need to stand your ground and be yourself. Life will work itself out on time.
Don't go and take a poop on your neighbor's porch, because that's you, though. Your freedom ends where another person's freedom begins.
But I really could use the right to exterminate people how I see fit, that would be nice.
Spread the love and don't forget to l00t.

Drugs are bad - they make you mad.

Today I overheard a conversation about marijuana. The main participants were a guy who is an "expert", or as I call'em "a expoord", on weed and my mom. She knows about my pot smoking activities (yyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan) and is apparently worried, so she contacted this guy.
She wants to get informed - that's okay with me, but this guy HAS to turn out to be a conservative christian... You know how they are with weed, right? He almost asked my mom to crucify me. At least one of the suggestions was to "Handcuff me to a radiator, or something, until I overcome my *addiction*". Now, see, I wasn't really aware until now, that I was addicted. I thought that my ability to not smoke for months, just because I'm too lazy to go get some and I don't want to give my money either, was a sign that I wasn't addicted, but what do I know? Maybe I am one of the severe addiction to marijuana cases.
One of all the....... None.
What the hell is this guy's problem? Did he read about marijuana from the bible? Maybe he should help handcuff me, so I don't overdose like all the other non-existent weed OD cases.
To my surprise, however, my mum listens for about fifteen minutes and then goes "This is bullshit" and something along the lines of "You are uneducated". To tell you the truth, I would've been happier if she just said "what.", as it is the perfect response, but I'm okay with her insulsts as well.
Apparently, my mom had read a few articles, but a friend of hers told her about this "expert" and his extreme knowledge, so she contacted him for more information.
We did both get a laugh out of this situation, though, and I know that my mum is as easy to brainwash as I am.
It was all funny as hell, because evidently, hell is funny.
And if you are wondering why this last link leads you to Connecticut, I'll tell you... Actually, I have no idea.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Can't argue with pop music...

What is the deal with all these pop stars and all your hate?
I mean why are you calling this Justin Beaver kid a fag? So what if she claims she's a lesbian? Even if she's all gay - it's O.K., though she looks a little young to know her sexual orientation yet. I mean, what is she, 12?
I heard that she said she feels like Kurt Cobain, because nobody understands her. Kurt Cobain was misunderstood mostly because he was a junkie and Jon...Justin is misunderstood, because she is young and only her 6-8 year old fans understand her interpretation of love completely.
Let's close the subject on her, okay?
What about the Jonas? I heard they are being called the "New Beatles". That... I completely agree with that, really. It's not like one of the bands is made of wise people, with intense knowledge of life, music, harmony and peace and the other is some fag teenagers, whose songs sound all the same, while all that changes are the overused popular chord progressions or anything. It's noting like that. They are exactly like the Beatles. I'm sure Lennon isn't rolling around in his grave by now.
Now we can easily call The Script - The new "Floyd", right? Let's just wait for the new "Bowie" and then I'll be happy as hell.
I'm okay with pop music. I don't always run away when I hear the new hit for the n-th time.
Recently, the only modern thing I can listen to are the Management (MGMT). These weasels have caught my attention with their psychedeliciousness. Their music is only comparable to the '70s, but it is evidently modern BUY THEIR ALBUMS and innovative. I rarely say something good about someone who isn't dead or expected to die any time now, so look'em up on youtube if you are a caveman and haven't heard them already.
Right... I'll be leaving you with some words of wisdom:
Pop music is like any other style of music, but it's rotten.

...since sometime last thursday...

Last Thursdayism is something similar to last Wednesdayism, but differs in that it's the only one and true religion.
It dictates that the world was created sometime last Thursday by Queen Maeve the cat, but it was made so it pushes you into thinking everything was here long ago.
Queen Maeve has implanted memories of past experiences in our heads to test our faith, just as the supposed God guy, that is supposedly supposed to have been here forever.
What makes me think this is all true you ask?
I will tell you. First of all, the universe clearly has intelligent design. I mean it is perfect. Things coexist perfectly with one another and changing just one number of any phsysical law may end the universe quickly. This means the numbers were tuned to each other by something intelligent and that clearly fits the description of Queen Maeve
Second, we were clearly designed to be the feline's slaves. WAKE UP, PEOPLE! Why else would we take their constant butt-in-face shoving, early-morning-without-reason-waking, shoe-peeing abuse!? It is all in front of us, you can not deny it.I've even got a third reason to believe.
The cat I was created by and I worship is truly existent and I can easily prove it, while the pop-religion, the most hip one and this millennium's favorite Christianity can not prove the existence of that supposed God guy.
Oh, but this is tragic news, you say? Don't worry - you don't necessarily need to slay your dog or get depressed by the hopelessness of this situation. Queen Maeve is actually a pretty loving cat, that created us to be her slaves, because felines needed aid after the apocalypse (They used to live on mars, but then the big flood happened and Queen Maeve escaped on earth with their pyramids), but that doesn't mean our life has no meaning, as she really cares for us. We have the possibility to go to the Paradise Next Thursday and all we have to do is be nice to cats often or become a slave to one (often mispronounced "Owning a cat"). Those who enter the paradise become cats, while the rest go to the Eternal Litterbox, which is never cleaned...
So now that we've cleared it up - QUICKLY!!! Go and tell yo' kids, tell yo' husband, 'cause they be preaching wrong to everybody out there.

Be careful, I might give you brain damage.

Hello and welcome to another piece of sh*t blog, that is trying to be funny.
I don't know how you got here and I don't really care, as long as you find this idiocy to your liking.
As an introduction I'll tell you a joke:
What's the difference between unloading a truck filled with dead babies and a truck filled with sand?
You can use a pitchfork with the babies.
If this joke was a bit too much, you should brace yourself as lots more await.
Just so you know, you can always ask questions in the comments and I will try and answer in my next publication.
Now go and read the next one, you might just like it.
No, there is no subliminal message in this publication.